what to do when hanging out with a guy alone

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If you lot and a guy you know are starting to click as friends and you want to hang out, don't exist agape to say so! It'southward not always easy to be platonic friends with a guy, especially if yous're attracted to guys, only it can certainly work out if you approach the nature of your friendship head-on. Be clear almost the fact that yous like him equally only a friend, and that your invitation isn't a date. While it'due south best to be yourself, focus on keeping flirty behaviors in cheque to avoid sending mixed messages. If all goes well, your guy pal might become ane of your closest friends!

1. i

   Reject any flirtatious approaches to establish the boundaries of your friendship. When a guy start meets you, he might start off flirtatiously to gauge your interest. But if you chop-chop set him directly, you lot'll accept better luck transitioning to a platonic friendship. If he tries to pull any suave moves, laugh it off but and then tell him that yous're genuinely not interested in forming a romantic attachment.^[1] Keep your tone assertive but friendly, and innovate a little humor to diffuse whatsoever tension.

   • Effort something like this to let him down gently while showing that y'all're a friend: "Freddy, I'thousand flattered, really, but y'all know I'chiliad not into you like that. You might accept better luck trying that line on the hottie across the room, though."
   • Don't exist worried nearly making him disappointed or jealous; if you're really going to establish a platonic friendship, he'll accept no issues with this. Just if you sense whatever kind of tension, your friendship might non be as balanced every bit you think.

2. ii

   Make sure he's aware of your relationship status and lack of romantic involvement. Whether you're already taken, not looking for love, or simply not romantically attracted to your guy friend, make sure he knows it.^[two] Once your friendship starts to take off, talk well-nigh your significant other or your relationship condition early to bear witness that you're not interested in him as anything more a friend.^[3] If y'all have a meaning other or a crush, drop this person's name then your guy friend knows where your affections lie.^[four]

   • Bring up your significant other when you're texting dorsum and forth nearly shared interests: "You dear the Cubs besides? My boyfriend Shane got united states of america tickets to a game side by side month!"
   • If you lot're not looking to appointment anyone, try placing blame on a tertiary party to warn your guy friend not to push the field of study: "Ugh, my mom won't stop bugging me about getting a boyfriend. How many times do I have to tell her that I'thousand not interested in dating anyone right now?!"
   • Alternatively, be more than directly about how satisfied you are with your single life: "It'south and so great to feel like I accept everything I need for one time. I'1000 really excited about my new job, I've never been in better shape, I have amazing friends similar you. I used to be and so stressed about dating but I'm happy to say information technology's actually non a priority right now."

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3. 3

   Tell him that he'south a great friend or that he's like a brother to y'all. The best way to permit a guy know you want to be just friends is to say so outright. Especially if your friendship is starting to get close and intense, or if yous're both single, it might feel similar you're toeing the line between "simply friends" and "something more." Whether you're talking or texting, clarify your intentions by saying how much y'all value your guy's friendship.^[v] Or, to go far even more than clear that a sexually charged human relationship is out of the question, say that you lot like him like a brother.

   • While it'south helpful to bring this up early in your friendship, be sure to reiterate it when you lot're bringing upwardly the topic of hanging out.
   • Try using this approach to explain why you want to hang out: "Man, you're like the brother I never had. But I can't believe we haven't seen each other since higher started. Permit's practise a 'family reunion' presently!"
   • Compare your great friendship with the worst-case scenario: "I can't tell you lot how many guys I've tried to be friends with but they've been all weird about it. I'yard lucky to accept such a proficient friend like you."

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1. 1

   Bring up the topic of hanging out beginning and then you lot tin can steer the conversation. Avoid dropping hints and waiting around for him to invite y'all out – y'all might requite off the signal that y'all want to exist romantically pursued. Instead, mention the idea of hanging out equally friends as presently equally you're set up to. Showroom confidence to prove that you lot're totally comfortable with the idea of hanging out.

   • Try rooting your request in the fact that you already get along well: "I'chiliad so glad we became friends otherwise this form would be unbearable! I know our schedules won't line up after exam week, just I was wondering if you'd want to take hold of up old side by side term?"
   • When you're the person introducing the topic, you tin can direct it safely into friend territory.
   • If you don't give off any signs of clumsiness, he shouldn't have any reason to feel uncomfortable nigh the thought of getting together either.^[6] Merely if you're timid almost it, both of you lot will sense that at that place'southward something wrong with the whole idea.

2. 2

   State clearly that it'southward non a date. The all-time mode to avert ambiguity is to exist upfront about your intentions.^[seven] Within the kickoff one or 2 sentences of your chat or text message, say specifically that it's not a date. Drop this line in earlier he has a take a chance to agree to your proffer: "Hey, did you want to go to that concert? Only as friends, I mean?" or "Would you desire to go to my roommate'south birthday thing with me – non every bit a date, simply every bit friends?"

   • If your guy friend happened to invite you out via text, and yous can't tell if he wants a date or not, reply with something like this: "Yes, rock climbing sounds neat! Merely to be articulate, I'm not looking to engagement but I like hanging out with new friends."^[8]
   • If his reply shows that he totally agrees with the just-friends thing, or fifty-fifty that he's relieved that you've gotten that awkward topic out of the way, you're in the clear.

3. iii

   Invite him to get out with you in a group setting. If you're unsure about a 1-on-i hangout, outset off by socializing in a grouping. Ask him if he wants to tag along with you and your work buddies for happy hour, or invite everyone from your common friend group out for a movie night.^[9] Endeavour to conform a balanced group with a mix of guys and girls likewise as singles and couples.

   • He'll probably be more comfortable if there are other guys in the group and you'll both appreciate it if yous're not stuck with merely romantic couples.
   • If yous're texting, specify in your initial message that the group you're going with is "a group of friends." Enquire "Want to join united states of america?" instead of "Desire to join me?" so he gets the idea.

4. 4

   Inquire him if he wants to bring together in on something you're already doing. This is a good fashion to put less pressure on your guy friend and your friendship overall: his response volition be an acceptance or refusal the action itself, not of you as a friend.^[10] Attempt asking something like, "Hey, I was planning to grab a quick bite afterwards class, want to come along?" or "If you like jazz yous should totally come to come across my brother'south show on Saturday! I was just going to go by myself, only he gave me an actress ticket in case I wanted to bring a friend."

   • This works great if you'd similar him to tag forth on a grouping outing, but you tin also try asking for something you'd otherwise be doing alone.

5. 5

   Avoid going out to romantic date spots together. Refrain from suggesting whatever place that has a romantic connotation. Steer clear of swanky restaurants, sultry cocktail bars, and fifty-fifty your local water ice foam parlor if information technology has a reputation as a cute beginning-date spot.^[xi] Similarly, avert hanging out in a private place similar your apartment. Instead, stick to public places such equally family unit-friendly venues or big-group environments. Pick activities that reflect your shared interests, and prioritize going out during the day, rather than at night, to keep the atmosphere lite and fun.

   • Endeavour an outdoorsy adventure or tour a historic site if you're both history buffs.
   • If you want to meet upward for drinks or a bite to eat, option a low-key dive bar or a coincidental sports bar with an upbeat free energy.

6. half dozen

   Allow him know in advance that you'll each pay your own way. You should have already told him that it's not a engagement, only you yet demand to address the topic of who pays for what. Tell him that yous'd like it if you lot each buy your own ticket, split the bill in one-half, or that you'll embrace it and he can transfer you his share of the fee later.

   • Past working out an agreement ahead of time, yous won't encounter any is-it-a-date clumsiness when it's time to pay.
   • Don't await him to pick up the tab. Even if he wants to be a admirer and pay for you, politely decline the offer.
   • Similarly, don't look him to become out of his way to give you lot a ride to your meetup spot. If carpooling makes the about sense, become for information technology. Otherwise, be prepared to get in that location and go domicile past yourself.
   • Feel complimentary to shoot over a unproblematic text confirming the plan: "So I'll meet y'all there at 7, and we tin can split it halfway, correct?"

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1. 1

   Refrain from doing flirtatious things like touching or complimenting him. Flirting with a guy friend can be fun and might seem harmless, but if you desire your friendship to work, go on yourself in check. Limit the number of compliments you requite him – particularly almost his appearance.^[12] Avoid making too much physical contact, too. While a hug to greet each other and say goodbye is fine, touching his arm or cuddling on the burrow will ship the wrong bulletin. ^[13]

   • If his jokes aren't funny, don't giggle as if you lot have a beat! Instead, curlicue your optics and tell him his jokes are pretty lame so he knows he's not wooing you lot.
   • Even if you regularly shower your gal pals with compliments, a guy might get dislocated into thinking y'all like him as more than than a friend if you lot're constantly boosting his ego and making him feel bang-up.^[14]

2. 2

   Say good day like a buddy, not similar a date. Don't employ a line like, "I'll phone call you" or "We should do this again sometime," which are typically said at the end of a appointment. Refrain from sending a beautiful follow-up text to say how much you enjoyed hanging out. Simply keep it simple with a casual farewell that you'd say to any other friend: "That was a lot of fun! I'll catch y'all later!" or "Yeah I'1000 gonna expect for an Uber. You go ahead and I'll see you in form!"

   • A goodbye hug should be fine but keep it quick.^[15] Similarly, avoid lingering around chatting earlier yous head habitation. Existence clingy and cuddly could suggest a romantic attraction.
   • Yous're friends, afterward all, and so you'll probably hang out again soon; you don't need to reassure each other that y'all like spending time together.

3. 3

   Expect some time before chatting or hanging out again. Spend equal amounts of time with all your friends and allow your guy friend to do the same. Don't feel the need to call, text, or message him all the time, even if you really go forth well. Even if you talk to each other every day at schoolhouse or piece of work, endeavour hanging out about once a month and messaging every few weeks.

   • If yous're left thinking almost him all the time or y'all feel the need to spend tons of fourth dimension together – more time and thought than your other friends get – things might not be strictly platonic.

4. 4

   Proceed with caution if you lot start feeling romantic allure to your guy friend. Even if you actually value his friendship, there's a chance that romantic feelings might bubble up.^[16] These feelings are totally normal, but they might be really frustrating to you as they could put your friendship in jeopardy. If this happens, don't lie to yourself; be up-front about your feelings with yourself and be honest with your guy friend, also.^[17]

   • If things outset to get intense, endeavour something like this: "Mike, I know this might sound weird but I'm starting to sense some chemistry and I retrieve it would exist expert to take a few steps dorsum. I'thou in a funky place right now and I but don't want to mess up our friendship. Is that okay?"
   • Studies have shown that guys are more probable to be attracted to their female friends than girls are to their guy friends.^[18] So if you lot're his female friend, pay attention if he starts to indicate romantic interest for you.

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Add New Question

• Question

  I desire to invite him to a party, but he'll be the only male child in that location. I don't want it to seem awkward, he's my only male friend. Should I invite him?

  

  If he's your friend, go for it! If you're the one throwing the party, make certain any activities are fun for everyone (no makeovers, etc., unless he's into that). If it'due south someone else's party, just brand sure he feels included with any's going on. Tell him ahead of fourth dimension that he will exist the simply guy, and he can decide for himself if he wants to go.

• Question

  What are some things to practise with a guy best friend at his house?

  

  Play video games or watch a moving picture. Think about what he likes. If he likes eating or baking, brand cookies. If he likes board games, do that.

• Question

  I want to invite my friend over, but I've never done it before. How practice I practise it? I doubt he'll think it'southward a date, but I cant figure out how to inquire him to hang.

  

  Remember of something you guys could exercise together, and enquire him specifically if he would like to do that activity. For example, "Do you desire to come over and [watch YouTube, play video games, listen to music, etc.]."

• Question

  How do I ask him?

  

  Just say something similar, "Hey, do you wanna go to ____ later?" If he asks if information technology's a date, say no. Just proceed it casual.

• Question

  This girl I know is dating someone else, but she wanted to hang with me. She never mentioned her boyfriend, why would she do that?

  

  Perchance she thinks that's individual data and none of your business, or maybe information technology just didn't come up. She might also have assumed y'all knew she had a boyfriend (which it sounds similar you did).

• Question

  What reasons could there be for why a guy only responds with curt texts?

  

  He may be playing hard to get, or he may genuinely not be interested in the conversation. You could try asking him a question that you know y'all could build upon. Yous shouldn't have to do all the piece of work and behave the conversation, though. If he repeatedly answers with i or two word replies, just drop the conversation.

• Question

  Why are boys mean to yous when they like you lot?

  

  Boys tin can be immature and they don't know how to express their feelings appropriately sometimes. I advise you to stay away from boys who act like this. They don't all do it.

• Question

  We've been friends for a few months. I'm 38 and married, he's 26 and single. Would it be okay if I ask him out for dinner?

  

  If you've mentioned to him a couple of times that y'all're married, it'due south safe.

• Question

  I'm going to the movies later tonight with a guy I've dated before. I asked him, and I'm paying for him. I don't know if he still likes me. How do I make this not awkward?

  

  Tom De Backer

  Top Answerer

  Merely tell him. "Hey, I want to go to the movies, I'd like you to come along, just I am sure that I don't want to get back together. Do you feel okay with that?"

• Question

  I asked a immature lady to the movies, and she said okay. Does this include dinner?

  

  It tin can include dinner, if yous desire it to and plan in accelerate with her for the time and coin. Totally up to yous. Dinner provides a overnice opportunity to talk and go to know each other improve that a movie doesn't.

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• When yous're together, act more like a sibling or 1 of the guys; don't act similar a stand-in significant other. Know your place in his social circle and things will go much more smoothly.^[19]

• You and your guy friend should establish a strong sense of trust with your significant other(south) then they can back up your friendship. Allow them know what your plans are, invite them to hang out with you, and let your actions speak well-nigh the ideal nature of your friendship. ^[20] The less cagey y'all are, the less suspicious they'll feel near what's going on.

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• Don't allow your friendship make it the way of either of your romantic relationships.^[21]

• Refrain from trying to interfere with his love life. This will just cause trouble for both of you.^[22]

• Don't jeopardize your friendship by stirring up drama. Avoid gossiping or dropping hints when you're with other friends, and certainly don't practice anything to try and brand his meaning other jealous or uncomfortable.^[23]

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